I Finally Got A Job …. I Guess.


       Yes, it’s true. I got a job about a few weeks ago (almost a month). I want to be excited just because it’s a weekly paycheck, but I can’t. Let me be completely honest for a minute. This particular job is not in my field and you do not need a degree for it, but it’s full time and it pays weekly. It’s not a salary job. It pays by the hour and the pay is a couple dollars above minimum wage. I went into this new expedition open and ready to finally begin a new chapter, but after day one I knew this would be temporary. Let me explain, this is a warehouse job where you are on your feet 10 hours a day (5 days a week). The days are super long, and the physical pain can be somewhat excruciating.

       I thought that it would eventually get easier on my body, but now I see that it won’t. Standing in one spot everyday with constant arm and shoulder movement has taken a toll on my body. To give a quick backstory (no pun intended), I actually hurt my back years ago when I was a teen. The center of my back was already tender to the touch, but for the most part it was okay for daily activities. It really depends on the type of work. The last job I had is when it first started to become a problem. 2 hours into my shift I would find myself in pain, but it was part time and I knew it would end soon. It was one of the few reasons why I left. Initially, I was able to my job until there was a shortage of people and I had to assist with the unloading and putting out product. All the bending and reaching, pushing and pulling started to affect my body.

       Every work day I wore an Icy Hot patch until I left. Now fast-forward to now, I have to wear 2 to 3 icy hot patches at work and take Advil, Excedrin or Tylenol just to make the pain manageable. I broke my heating pad because I used it so much, and I’m constantly using my Homedics shiatsu back massager chair. I try to look for anything that can help me get through this job. Unfortunately, I have left early and called out twice already. I am not the type of person to call out, but the pain has been that bad. The icy hot patches are losing their effect, OTC medicine isn’t helping much, Bengay cold therapy doesn’t help, the Epsom Salt baths aren’t cutting it and my back massager is only temporary relief. So, what now? What do I do now?

       I had to think about what I was going to do. I knew that I couldn’t go on like this. It was impossible that I could work through this kind of pain. There were days when I was holding back tears and I was just trying to make it through the day. I knew that taking this job it was possible that the pain would be too much, but I was hopeful. I knew how long it took for me to get a callback. I thought about how hard it was to get the last 3 interviews I had, and I still came up empty in those scenarios. I felt that I had to take this job, because I didn’t know if I would get another callback anytime soon. So, what did I decide? I decided to try to push out at least a few more days. Try to aim for one more paycheck. Go as far as I can until my body says “Enough!”

       I hate that this had to happen. By the end of the week I will most likely be jobless again. I am currently still looking and applying for other jobs. Looking back, this journey has been really rough. I almost have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes. I can only hope that this is happening for a reason that can’t be explained at this moment. Maybe a year or two from now (hopefully sooner), I will look back and laugh and I will finally see why I went through what I went through. I will realize the reason for all those No’s and I will be thankful, but until then I must keep my head up and trust in God that things will all workout. There are days I just want to give up on EVERYTHING, but I have to keep going. I have to stay positive and trust that everything will work itself out, and when it does, I will make sure to share my story. 😉


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