JustGottaMakeIt

       I’ve been thinking a lot about anxiety lately. In a few of my past posts I mentioned how I always suffered from depression and anxiety throughout my whole life. I never really talked about it until I was in my early twenties, and I only talked about it with close family (like sisters and cousins). I never felt comfortable talking about it with friends or associates. I was ashamed and I just didn’t want to seem like I was broken to people. I would put on this mask when I was at school or work and I just wanted to appear like I had it all together, and when it got to a point where I couldn’t hide it, I had to isolate myself. One thing that I noticed these days is how a lot of people are opening up now and talking about it. A lot of celebrities are coming forth and talking about how they suffer from anxiety and I see a lot of people criticizing them for it. They’re saying that how they are just making it up and if they really feel that way, they should’ve picked a different career. As a person who always suffered from anxiety I completely understand, and I am totally empathetic to what they are going through. When you’re constantly put in a situation that gives you anxiety it can be a complete nightmare. It’s very draining. For the people who don’t suffer from it, considered yourself lucky because it makes life more stressful. Everything just feels harder.

       My anxiety is so bad that when I am triggered, I feel a shortness of breath and I start to have a panic attack. I feel like I am losing control. My hands also tingle and I start to feel nauseous. There was one time I was at work and it got so bad that I felt like I was having a breakdown. I started crying and I was hiding trying to get myself together. I was so embarrassed of people seeing me like that. I thought I was going to lose my job, but they understood and let me go home. I was so thankful that they were understanding, because I know that some people feel like anxiety isn’t a real issue. People like to downplay it a lot, but it can be so crippling. That same day I had my all-natural anxiety tablets with me because I kept a bottle in my locker. I took double the dosage that day and they just didn’t work. I like to look for natural solutions because I’m not a fan of big of the possible side effect they could have. I feel like it’s not worth the risk. I did use to take something called Vistaril because the possible side effects were minimal. They did really help. I used them for my nighttime anxiety. It makes you a little drowsy so I would take it when I felt anxious before bed. Nowadays I take hemp gummies and cbd oil. They seem to help a lot when I feel anxiety at home. I haven’t had a chance to see if it works while I’m out in the world, but whenever I do, I will do an update. All in all, I made this post to say: Be Understanding! If you’re not a person who suffers from it, Great! Just don’t make others feel bad for it. You don’t know what they are going through and telling someone to just “get over it” can make it way worse. Just be mindful of that and try not to be a jerk. We need a lot more compassion in this world.