In previous post I’ve mentioned my anxiety and how I’ve dreaded running into people during this time of my life. Since I finished Grad school, I’ve been feeling like a lost little reindeer trying to find its way to the north pole (I don’t know why I used that analogy, just roll with it. Lol). I’ve been wanting to avoid the dreaded small talk and the usual question: What are you doing now? It’s been a crazy journey and I know most people wouldn’t understand unless they are in my shoes. I don’t like going out but now that I have to wear a mask it’s like I can be anonymous. I used to get so much anxiety when I would be out and about, but now I don’t feel seen as much. With my mask on and a hoodie (or hat) I feel like I’m wearing a disguise. That has been the silver lining in this horrible and unfortunate situation.
I still want the world to go back to normal. I want everyone to feel safe and to continue on with life. I hate that so many people are losing jobs and missing big moments (like graduations, proms & homecomings) or canceling plans (wedding, trips, family gatherings and etc.). My husband and I had to cancel our vacation and we didn’t get to celebrate our 1st little milestone anniversary (5 years) the way we intended to. It sucks, but this it how it has to be unfortunately. I wish more people would be a little safer these days so we can go ahead and get back to normal. We can’t even get a regular cold anymore without freaking out. With the numbers on the rise I can only hope that we could put the selfishness aside and think of others during this time.
I didn’t mean to get off track, I just wanted to make it known that I’m not happy about what’s going on. I just wanted to point out the silver lining in the midst of the chaos. I felt like the little boy on the movie Big Daddy whenever he put on his sunglasses. It feels like I have on the cloak of invisibility when I go out. Hopefully, the number of cases will start to go down sooner rather than later, but until then I will remain hidden under my cloak of invisibility in peace.