JustGottaMakeIt

        In previous post I’ve mentioned my anxiety and how I’ve dreaded running into people during this time of my life. Since I finished Grad school, I’ve been feeling like a lost little reindeer trying to find its way to the north pole (I don’t know why I used that analogy, just roll with it. Lol). I’ve been wanting to avoid the dreaded small talk and the usual question: What are you doing now? It’s been a crazy journey and I know most people wouldn’t understand unless they are in my shoes. I don’t like going out but now that I have to wear a mask it’s like I can be anonymous. I used to get so much anxiety when I would be out and about, but now I don’t feel seen as much. With my mask on and a hoodie (or hat) I feel like I’m wearing a disguise. That has been the silver lining in this horrible and unfortunate situation.

I still want the world to go back to normal. I want everyone to feel safe and to continue on with life. I hate that so many people are losing jobs and missing big moments (like graduations, proms & homecomings) or canceling plans (wedding, trips, family gatherings and etc.). My husband and I had to cancel our vacation and we didn’t get to celebrate our 1^st little milestone anniversary (5 years) the way we intended to. It sucks, but this it how it has to be unfortunately. I wish more people would be a little safer these days so we can go ahead and get back to normal. We can’t even get a regular cold anymore without freaking out. With the numbers on the rise I can only hope that we could put the selfishness aside and think of others during this time.

I didn’t mean to get off track, I just wanted to make it known that I’m not happy about what’s going on. I just wanted to point out the silver lining in the midst of the chaos. I felt like the little boy on the movie Big Daddy whenever he put on his sunglasses. It feels like I have on the cloak of invisibility when I go out. Hopefully, the number of cases will start to go down sooner rather than later, but until then I will remain hidden under my cloak of invisibility in peace.