The other day I was thinking about the quarter-life crisis. A quarter-life crisis is a period of uncertainty and questioning about life and your future. It feels like a period of constant soul-searching and trying to figure out this thing called Life. It’s actually pretty common for 25-year-olds to feel this way, but you don’t have to be 25 to experience this feeling. I actually started to feel this way at 24. I started my quarter life crisis a year earlier. When you’re 17/18 and a senior in high school you pretty much have a picture of how your life will be like after graduation. In most of our plans, we picture college and then a career right after, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
On my 24th birthday I was feeling so depressed. Twenty-three was one of my worst years as far as life changes go. I left college earlier that year and couldn’t return for many reasons. Mainly, I didn’t have the funds to return and my fafsa alone couldn’t cover my tuition. I also stopped going to my classes during the last semester due to certain trauma I faced months before. I was an emotional wreck. Once I left college I went home and started therapy to try to help me deal and heal. I was so up and down every day, until I just became a walking zombie. Once I felt like I was ready to go back to my university and couldn’t, I felt a wide range of emotions (sadness, anger, defeat & etc). So when I turned 24I felt like It was a fresh start, but I felt so behind. I had to figure out what was my next move since college was off the table (or at least for the moment). I was also fresh out of a toxic relationship. All of my college friends were graduating earlier that year and starting their next phase, and there I was lost and confused. I thought at 24 I would be stable with an entry position at least. So, I didn’t feel like celebrating my birthday. I felt like crying and hiding under the covers all day.
When I turned 25 things were shifting and getting better. A few months after I turned 24, I started college again with a different major (major #7). When I was 25 and been in school again for about a year, I slightly changed my major again so I could graduate earlier than expected. I started working, and I moved into my own apartment at my dream location. I was more confident, and I was starting to become my own body goals (after years of feeling self-conscious about one thing or another). I had my own place; I was working, and I was finally about to receive my bachelors. Things were looking up. After I finished my degree, I went for my masters. I got married and received my masters in the next couple years. I left my job a few months before I finished my masters. I thought the job market would be wide open now that I had 2 degrees, but it was harder than ever. If you’ve read my previous posts then you know all the ups and downs, I’ve endured over the years.
Even though I am no longer 24 or 25, it started to feel like I was back in that quarter-life crisis mindset. They say that quarter-life crisis can happen from mid-twenties to early thirties, so maybe I’m still in it. Maybe I started at 24, pressed the pause button at 25 and started up again at 27/28. I’m not sure. It’s been a long and crazy journey. One thing that is funny is how when you first turn 24 or 25 you feel so old, but as the years go by you realize that 25 is not old at all. I wish I could go back in time and slap some sense into myself. Even though our feelings are valid, and we can’t help how we feel, I would still want to let myself know that 24 or 25 isn’t old at all.
It’s okay to still be lost in your twenties. Twenties are usually messy, and adulthood is scary. It’s so much to figure out and when you look back you just can’t help but shake your head at yourself for feeling that way. It’s like I wish I could go back and do it over with the mindset that I have now. I wouldn’t be so worried or pressed about feeling old. I should’ve been enjoying it. So if you’re in your mid-twenties ENJOY IT! Stop Stressing! Have fun and don’t get consumed with the negative. Once you turn 29 and you know 30 is near it’s going to bring on a new set of feelings that can’t be explained. As soon as you blink you are 30 and your twenties are officially over. You’ll look back and say “Wow! I was really tripping about being 25.” It will all seem silly. My advice to you is to stop stressing and worrying! Try new things! Go and have fun with family and friends! Make memories! Smile More and Laugh Often! Don’t compare your journey to your peers. Practice self-love and self-care. Remove toxic energy from your life. Try to become the best version of yourself and everything else will fall into place. You got this!