For the first day of Blogmas I thought it would only be fitting to talk about passion. What is your passion? Do you have a passion? One thing that I seem to come across a lot these days is the subject of not having a passion. A lot of people are opening up and talking about how they’re fearful that nothing excites them. They don’t feel passionate about anything, and I actually understand the feeling. It’s quite scary because you don’t know where you belong or what direction to go in. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I had multiple passions. I didn’t know what I wanted to do because I wanted to do so many things and I couldn’t pick one over the over. I wanted to do it all which led me to go in circles. Then in my mid-twenties I started to change my mind a lot. The things I found exciting lost it’s luster and I was no longer passionate about them. I was back at square one and I just felt lost. My degrees were in fields that just didn’t appeal to me in the same way as it did before. I don’t have a natural born talent. Anything that I was good in was more of a skill than a talent. (Read my Talent vs Skilled post from last year https://ellerey.com/2020/10/02/436/ ) I had to learn how to be good at them, but even then, I wasn’t brilliant. I was just pretty good. It’s easier when you have a talent because you feel chosen. It’s like a gift was given to you for a reason, but when you’re lacking talent, and nothing is pulling you in … where do you go from there?
In my opinion, your passion is something that you think about all the time. You get excited about it, and you can’t wait to get back to it. You’re so into it that it’s cutting into your bedtime, or you forget to eat or do any other daily task because you don’t want to pull away from it. That’s my way of defining it. Others may say that you talk about it a lot and you always trying to find a way to fit it into your budget. They also say that you love learning about it, and you seek to perfect your craft. When I was searching for my passion, I often compared myself to others. For example, some people say they live and breathe acting. They were in plays in high school. They went to college and got a degree in Drama. If they didn’t have the money for college, they took a community improv or other acting classes that they could afford. They go to every casting call that they can. They move to a different city where it’s easier to get in their field and if nothing is working, they’re doing skits on YouTube, Tik-Tok or Instagram. When I see people who live and breathe their passion, I would think to myself: maybe I just don’t have one. I’m not going that hard for something where I’m willing to risk it all on it.
I went years not knowing what I really wanted to do in life. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I realized what I wanted to do. I might not be as extreme as some people, but it is something that’s constantly on my mind. When I’m working on my passion, I can be up until the crack of dawn because I am in the zone and won’t stop until I’m practically falling asleep. I think about it when I’m going to bed, when I’m in the shower or just randomly throughout the day. One thing that surprised me is the fact that it was something I was dabbling in when I was a young teen. It was a hobby that I never let go of, and I just never looked at it as a potential career field for me. I couldn’t believe I missed it. It was right in front of me this whole time. I don’t talk about my passion a lot because I just don’t like to talk about things until they’re done or in motion. Years ago, I’ve learned to protect my dreams. I don’t give people a chance to spit on my dreams or try to talk me out of it. I’ve learned my lesson. Sometimes you have to move in silence and pop up once you succeed and take the world by surprise.
If you’re one of the ones who feel like they don’t have a passion don’t be afraid. It will come to you, and like myself it just might be right in front of you. Sometimes it might not be a hobby or volunteering for cause. Sometimes your passion is being a parent, husband/wife, or pet owner and that’s okay too. Yes, your passion can be your husband/wife/partner, child, or pet. Maybe you’re passionate about stocking shelves or cleaning/organizing and that’s completely fine. It’s all about being happy and doing what you love. When I was working in retail, I hated it. There was a girl I worked with who loved it and that’s wonderful, because she was doing what she loved and that’s the key to happiness. There are some people who are bringing in six figures or more a year and hate what they do for a living. So, what makes you smile? Where does your mind go when you daydream? What do you always seem to come back to? What’s a constant theme of interests? (Ex: Who do you follow on social media? What do you watch on TV or on YouTube? What apps do you have on your phone? Do you notice a common theme? Beauty? Fitness? Food? Design? Politics? Humanitarianism? Minimalism? Entrepreneurship? Family?) Take your time and explore. Every passionate person expresses themselves differently, so never compare yourself to others. I might not be moving across the country with only 200 dollars in my pocket, or putting in 16 hours of work a day, but I’m still passionate. My passion doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s, but it’s still my passion, nonetheless. We’re all different and unique. This is your personal journey! Go by your own definition of the word!