Not Having It All at the Age You Expected … 29, 30, 31+ (Blogmas #2)

       I was watching a YouTube video of someone over 30 speak on the hardships of growing on social media when you don’t have a particular lifestyle. Most people who are 18 to 23 can come on these platforms and not have it all figured out because they’re young and just starting out. All they have to do is entertain. When they reach their mid-twenties it’s all about “It Girl” lifestyles, dating and just living in the fast lane. Once they reach their Late twenties, they expect you to be more established and finally, settling down/starting a family. So, once you reach your thirties and you’re not established in your career or have any kids (with a perfect marriage) people seem to be uninterested in your life. They say that the point of influencers is to present a lifestyle that people admire or envy. Since most young adults grow up assuming that they will be married with kids and financially established in their thirties they are not checking for people who’s not displaying that ideal lifestyle. When you’re 18-24 you look at 30+ as being old, which is why so many people go through a quarter life crisis. The closer they get to 30 the more freaked out they become and suddenly everything is on a timeclock. At the end of the video, I’m glad that the Youtuber ended on a positive note by stating that even though her channel isn’t as big as other influencers, there are still thousands of people watching her videos and that’s something to be proud of. She thought about walking away, but she didn’t. I’m glad she didn’t let the self-doubt lead her towards walking away because everyone needs a voice, which is why I started this blog. For all the confused college graduates who thought their degrees would skyrocket their career and instead they received a bunch of application rejections (or no callbacks at all). Sometimes the unexpected happens and things don’t go as you planned. I’m displaying my own journey, so people don’t have to feel alone. A lot of us don’t have it figured out after college.

       I personally love following the journeys of people who are relatable. It lets me know that I’m not alone and seeing each other make it gives hope to people in the same boat. I thought I would be more established at my age. I pictured my life so differently at this age. Half of my projected goals in my high school senior book came true. I did receive my master’s degree and I got married in my twenties as I hoped. However, I don’t have an established career and I’m not a mom yet. Whenever I’m asked about careers or children, I feel uncomfortable, because it’s like the world is telling me that I should have one or the other. It’s like once you pass 28 or 29 and you don’t have a career the next question is …. Do you have children? It’s almost like there has to be a reason why you’re not established (or on your way to becoming established), and that reason has to be children. I’ve been so wrapped up in my age and so fearful of the judgement of not being where people think I should be I’m not living in the moment. I’ve missed out on a lot and didn’t start to appreciate the small victories until last year.

       I shared all of this to say that it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be. Thirty is not old. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Life is full of surprises (some good, some bad). Sometimes your plans get derailed, or you might change your mind completely. Which is why it’s so important to experiment with hobbies and interests in your twenties. I wish I dabbled more in extracurricular activities, maybe I would’ve realized my true passion sooner. I would’ve picked a completely different major and invested more time in what I truly loved to do. I have new goals, but my number one goal is to be happy and find peace in the midst of the madness. Regardless of the setbacks that we face, we have to find a way to keep going and not to be so hard on ourselves. So, you’re not alone. You rarely see people who have it all, and even when they look like they do it’s never what it appears to be. Life will never be perfect, but it’s how we choose to live it that matters. Focus on what makes you happy and what truly matters. All you can do is try your best. If you keep going, you’ll get there, or maybe even stumble across something even better.

       We’re evolving every year. Our wants and desires change overtime. What you wanted yesterday might not be what you want today. Today your dream might be becoming a director of a company and you seem to never get chosen no matter how much experience or education you may have. You continue to get overlooked and then 5 years from now you’re running your own company and you’re more successful than you ever could imagine. You look back and think about where you were 5 years ago and you’re so happy that you never got that director position. So don’t feel like you’re behind in life. It’s just not your time yet. You’re still in your cocoon preparing to transform into something beautiful. You’re being molded and shaped for the greatness that has yet to come. Keep growing and keep going! 😉


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