A few days ago, I was watching a show where they all wrote letters apologizing to themselves for their past mistakes. I’ve written motivational letters to my future self before, but I’ve never written a letter to my past self. So, I want to take this time today and write a letter apologizing to my 7- to 24-year-old self.
I am sorry that I didn’t fight for you. I am sorry that I didn’t push you harder when it came to the things that you really wanted to do. I’m sorry that I didn’t take better care of you physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am sorry for the up and down weight-cycling and then mentally beating you up for it. I am sorry for shielding you from everything that seemed uncomfortable to the point where you have extreme anxiety now. I am sorry that I didn’t make smarter financial choices during my college years. I am sorry that I generated so much debt from college loans and placing that six-figure burden onto you. I am sorry that I am not at the place where I thought I would be by now. I am sorry for hiding you away from the world causing you to miss out on additional moments that you could’ve made with loved ones who are no longer here. I am sorry that I didn’t seek help for you sooner. I saw you struggling. I saw you hurting. I saw you mentally check out and I did nothing. I just let it consume you, and for that I am truly sorry. I am sorry for giving you such a hard time. I am sorry for not allowing you to soar. I didn’t allow you to know yourself and give things a real try. I’m sorry that I kept you in your comfort zone for so long. I’m sorry for talking you out of doing things out of fear. I’m sorry that I let you quit Karate as a kid after one day, all because you didn’t want to do it alone. I’m sorry that I talked you out of doing dance in high school and then backing out once again in your freshman year of college. I’m sorry that I convinced you to not try out for the basketball team in high school. I’m sorry I always hit you with the phrase: Maybe Next Year. I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t do things alone. I’m sorry for being too nice to the wrong people. I’m sorry that you always wanted to feel invisible. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the confidence that you needed. I’m sorry for holding on to toxic relationships. I’m sorry that I put you in a tough position. I’m sorry for not seeing your worth. I hope from now on you can put down your fears and spread your wings. I hope that you will love yourself no matter what size you are at the moment. I hope that you won’t be afraid to shine your light on the world and try all the things that you wanted to try. It’s Never too Late! I hope that you realize that you are enough and that you can do whatever it is that you want to do. You’re stronger than you think, and you have a beautiful heart. Don’t let anyone dim your light. Never count yourself out! You might not see it right now, but you’re going to show up and show out. I believe in you. You Got This! Now go out there and show them who you are . . . a child of a King! 😉 👑
~ XOXO ELLE
Oddly enough guys, I do feel better after writing this letter. I hope you find time to write a letter to your younger self apologizing to anything that you been holding on to. Thank you for reading and being a part of this journey.