Does Romance Movies have a negative effect on our Love Life? (Unrealistic Expectations)

          Today I was thinking a lot about romance movies and shows based on love and relationships. I’ve noticed that a lot of people would say that they hate romance stories because they’re so unrealistic. They feel like it showcases a false sense of what relationships/marriages are really like (especially years in). I will say that growing up I believed in the fairytale. I believed that love could be the whirlwind of romance like you see on tv. As I got older, I realized that for the most part it isn’t real life, but I still like to watch it. Some people will refuse to watch them because they feel that storylines like those make people feel like there’s something missing in their own relationships. I know not to compare my relationship to the ones on tv, but I understand why some people might feel that way. If it’s hard for you to separate the two, then it’s better to not watch them at all. No one wants to feel inadequate in their relationship because it doesn’t look like Noah and Ally from the Notebook. So why do we love the fantasy? Why do we continue to indulge in these storylines? I say, why not?

          I love romantic movies and romance novels. I love the story no matter how unrealistic it might be. I’m just a lover of love. I believe in love, and I think they said it best in the movie Aquamarine when JoJo says it’s the closest thing that we have to magic. I definitely agree. Even though I do feel like a lot of these movies are unrealistic for the most part, I do think it’s possible to have that kind of love at some point in life. Wait, hear me out. I think this type of love is a little more accurate when you’re young. When you’re not dealing with major life stressors like bills, a job you hate, raising kids and just other life issues that may come your way. I’m not speaking for the people who had to grow up fast and was placed in tough situations. I’m speaking on a lot of 16- to 22-year-old teens/young adults who didn’t have much to worry about, where you could put more time and energy into love and your relationship. It’s easy to get wrapped into each other at that age. It’s dramatic. It’s intense. It’s exciting and you can’t get enough of each other. It’s basically a telenovela. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t ever experience this type of love when you’re older. I do believe every once in a while, you might see an older couple who might have that type of love and usually it’s the couple who’s satisfied with life (as in satisfied with who they are and where they are).

          In the Netflix series Sex/Life I remember watching it and wondering how many people felt like Billie and the other wives. How many people feel like their relationship is in a rut and they’re missing that spark? How many people are stuck in the past thinking about how exciting things used to be? Are most of us programmed to believe that consistency, safety, and security means something is wrong? If we’re not having mind blowing sex 4 to 5 times a week does that mean something is wrong? If we’re not making out like teenagers or feeling that magnetic chemistry between the two of us does that mean we’ve lost that fire? Seeing these overly passionate couples in these stories will make you think sometimes, but they’re just stories (a nice little fantasy romanticizing love). We can’t put unrealistic expectations on relationships/marriages. Remember, movies are just movies. Books are just books, and social media is just a land of make believe. Even the best marriages don’t always look like that (especially years later). It’s okay to have fantasies, but don’t let it make you miss out on what you do have. If you’re chasing perfection, you’re bound to be disappointed and unfulfilled.


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