For today’s topic I want to speak on the red flags in friendships. One thing you will probably learn when you get further into adulthood is that we trust people more than we should in our teens and early twenties. We’re more optimistic and we tend to look for the best in people. It’s not a bad thing, but it can get you hurt if you’re not careful. After twenty-five it’s like you start to gain so much more wisdom year by year, almost to the point where you think to yourself: How could I have been so naïve? If this is you, don’t feel bad. It happens to most of us. Sometimes we ignore the signs, and other times people are just good at hiding things. So today, I want to shed light on the people with two faces.
After having a discussion with others about our past experiences with friends (or family) we’ve realized that this subject should be talked about more. People should know what to look out for and who to be cautious around. Most of us have dealt with people who are one way with us and a completely different person around someone else. Here are five clues that you might have a wolf in sheep’s clothing around you.
If your friend/family member are completely different towards you when other people are around. Example: If you’re always out laughing and having a good time with them, but when their other friends are around, they ignore your existence, or their attitude towards you has completely shifted in a negative way. Well, if that happens then it’s likely that they’ve been talking behind your back and to not seem fake (to their other friends) they have a certain energy towards you to keep up with appearances. If they treat you how they normally treat you then their friends will know that they have two faces. ***Also, if you comment on their social media post and they comment on EVERYone else’s reply except yours, but they send you a direct message instead … Beware. They have to send you a private message or people would see that they’re being friendly with you.
If they are speaking down on a lot of people to you, but you catch them being overly friendly to the same people they’ve been trash talking, then it’s likely that they are probably doing the same to you when you’re not around.
If they are constantly having BAD fallouts with friends and they never can explain why. Sometimes we outgrow friends, get too busy, or go in different directions. That’s life. But if it’s ALWAYS a Bad fallout (where both parties aren’t speaking to each other out of anger or hurt feelings) then it’s probably because they’ve caught on to their wicked schemes.
Pay attention to the little things. If they’re telling you one thing, and someone else something completely different.
Example: If you are best friends with Samantha and Anna, and Samantha comes to you crying about how Jeff is douche who broke her heart, but then she tells Anna that she’s cheating on Jeff and how he’s a loser who’s too nice. That might be confusing as to why she would tell her two best friends completely different stories. Then you start to notice a pattern of two completely different pictures constantly being painted, and nothing is adding up or matching. Don’t brush it off and think maybe she just likes storytelling or just need attention. It’s a red flag that the person could have some serious issues and they’re not to be trusted.
If every person they introduce you to immediately greets you with cold energy and dislikes you without knowing you, be careful. I’m not talking about one or two people. I’m talking about almost EVERYONE. Or if you already know someone that they know, and it’s always been pleasant up until your friend/family member found out that you knew each other.
Example: You and Gina are acquaintances who always speak and smile when you see each other in passing. One day you and other siblings go to your sister’s (Amanda) function, and you run into Gina. You wave and speak to each other, and Amanda is surprised that you know her friend Gina. The next time you run into Gina you smile and wave at her like normal, but this time she doesn’t return the smile or make small chat. This time she rolls her eyes and turns up her nose at you. Gina no longer speaks to you, and you don’t know why, but I think we all know why. Just like most of Amanda’s friends who have greeted you and your other siblings with negative energy now Gina is acting the same towards you. Why is that? It’s because Amanda is most likely painting a certain picture of her siblings for attention and pity. Some people just thrive off of people’s sympathy.
I want to end this post by stating that these clues are meant for the people who know that they’ve been a good friend and there was never any foul play on your part. This doesn’t apply if you both are betraying each other. Two wrongs don’t make a right. This post is for the people who genuinely experience these things for no reason. Most of us will have a bunch of clues but continue to try to see the good in people, but sometimes we have to know when to walk away. We should surround ourselves with positivity and genuine people. Sometimes it’s hurtful to find out that some people who you thought were your friends were truly your enemy when you weren’t around. Most of us have had friendships we should’ve let go of sooner, but we lie to ourselves because we don’t want to believe the truth. I wish I knew when to walk away when I was younger, but if I didn’t have those experiences, I wouldn’t be able to weed out who’s really my friend and who’s not. This doesn’t only happen between teens and young adults. Unfortunately, there will be people like this in every age group, but this time you will notice their game ahead of time and be sure to not make the same mistakes.
What are some of the red flags that you’ve came across during your past friendships? Let me know in the comment section below!
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by. Be sure to look out for part two next Thursday, when I speak on potential red flags you might come across before getting into relationships. Have a great night everyone. Be Blessed! XOXO