In my last post I talked about the red flags when dealing with two-faced friends (or should I say Frenemies). Growing up I wish I caught on to all the signs that were in front of me, but I guess that’s what life experience is about (learning and gaining wisdom). For the most part, I understand that some things can only be understood through experience, but I hope the clues that I shared in my last post (and the clues that I am about to share today) will help someone out.
Today I want to speak on the red flags that you might notice before you start dating someone. In most cases we don’t usually notice the red flags until after a couple of dates. It’s possible to see some red flags on the first date, but there could possibly be a few that’s presented even before the first date. It can be easily missed when you’re younger with little to no experience when it comes to dating. Hopefully, these clues will help.
Clue #1
He tells the world (social media) how he’s such a good guy. When you’re really a good guy you don’t have to repeatedly shout it off the roof tops. Are you trying to convince your peers, or yourself? I’m not talking about one Facebook post/ Tweet/ IG Story or etc. I’m talking about multiple posts. The people who do that are usually the ones with the most issues. You might see some people do this after EVERY breakup. If you do, prepare for a rollercoaster ride.
Clue #2
Publicly trashing their past partners. A lot of people assume that the person trash talking their ex won’t do the same to them. They could be the sweetest person to you and shower you with so much love and affection you might think: This person is so into me; they would never write those things about me. Just remember, their last relationship most likely started on a good note. They probably treated them the same way in the beginning. If they’re the type to disparage their last ex publicly they will most likely do the same thing to you. Proceed with caution.
Clue #3
Pay attention to their approach. Most of us knows when a guy is serious or not, but we might overlook the obvious signs if it’s somebody that we’re really into. If he’s really into you, he will:
- Ask you out on a real date (neutral territory, not his place or yours)
- He will text you at a reasonable time. If the first time he texts you is during afterhours, then he mostly likely has one thing on his mind (and he probably has a girlfriend).
- The Compliments will be respectful and tasteful. If the remarks are mainly sexual then you should know where his mind is at.
A lot of these signs are obvious. We just choose to ignore them. Maybe it’s because people tend to be overly optimistic in the beginning. We think we can change someone or win them over. Listen to the early signs and save yourself the heartache. Sadly, a lot of people gravitate towards toxic traits, and actually like the thrill of the drama. It’s something I will never understand (maybe in theory, but not in real life). I guess these shows and movies makes it look appealing in its own way, but in the end healthy love and respect will always win. You just have to want more for yourself and know that you are deserving of someone wonderful. 😉
JustGottaMakeIt 