Elle Rey📚

          I can’t wait until this month comes to an end. I’ve been stressing so much during this move. I hate packing. It’s insane how much one can accumulate over the years. I need to start embracing minimalism in the near future. I hold onto way too many things. It’s ridiculous. I’ve never been one to let go of things. I always wanted a memento to remember the moment or experience, but sometimes a digital picture should suffice. Having too many things just leads to madness, and now I’m left with a lot of trinkets and souvenirs representing a time that I want to move on from. It’s like what do you do with all the cards, notes, and gifts from past moments? If I keep them, it’s like I’m holding onto something that’s gone.

          The hardest things to let go of are the notes and the tiny items that represent a special moment. I can throw away or donate stuffed animals, clothes or glasses/mugs, but things like little snow globes and the little pressed pennies that we collected from various vacation destinations are hard to let go of. You know the machine that you have to turn the handle, and it turns your penny into a souvenir. After the first time, it started to become our thing whenever we saw those machines. It’s always the cheapest little things that I seem to hold onto the most. I’ve always been like that since I was a teenager. I remember saving a ring that was given to me by my boyfriend that cost 10-20 tickets at an arcade. I saved that little copper ring for years. Lol. It’s the joy of the moment that makes the gift special. Fast forward to now, and I’m still the same way. It’s harder to throw away things that remind you of a time when things were good. So, even though I wish I could just wash my hands from this marriage and move forward, I don’t want to throw everything away just because it feels like I should.

          Yes, it might be a painful reminder of something that no longer exists, but that just lets me know that I’m human. That person might be a completely different person now, and that moment is long gone, but it’s a reminder that there were good times. It wasn’t all heartbreak and it’s okay to acknowledge that. There was some beauty in the midst of the pain. There were moments of joy, laughter, closeness and excitement. It’s a reminder of why I tried to stick it out as long as I did. I don’t want to just remember the bad things. If I do that, then it would make me feel like I just wasted time that I can’t ever get back. The good memories are what makes me feel like I wasn’t blind, and there was a reason why I held on. And to me, I think that’s as good a reason as any.