Depression and Growth


       Recently, I started writing down daily tasks in an old notebook, and today I ran into an old entry from almost 2 years ago (September 2018) that was written in the middle of it. Sometimes when I just need to release or vent I would just pick up a random notebook and write. As I started to read it, I couldn’t believe how dark it was. I actually started to feel uncomfortable reading it. I was so broken and hopeless during that time. I forgot how depressed I was. I mean, I remember, but I forgot that it was that bad. The crazy thing is life has been at its craziest for the past 9 to 10 months and fortunately I’m not in that same mindset. I feel mentally stronger. I feel less alone. I wanted to cry for the girl who wrote it, even though that girl was me. My heart broke for her and I’m just happy that I am not in the same headspace. I have felt an unbelievable amount of emotional pain since the end of last year up until now, but mentally I’m better off than I was 2 years ago and that’s a blessing. I’m saying all of this to say that even when it feels like you’re losing it, and you feel like you’re going out of your mind it gets better eventually. Surround your self with loved ones, and practice self-care. Self-care is very important. There’s also therapy and counseling. I was going to counseling up until quarantine and I’m going to make sure that I continue to go when things get better. We have to take care of ourselves and listen to our mental health when it starts to cry. No quick fixes or Band-Aids (Quick fixes: excessive drinking, drug use, gambling or any other reckless behavior). We just have to work through the pain, and take time to heal. 


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