Elle Rey📚

          Growing up can be hard when your life doesn’t mirror what you’ve always pictured. In my opinion, the best thing about getting older is the wisdom you gain. You realize how valuable it is the older you get. You make smarter decisions, and you can tell when someone is trying to pull the wool over your eyes. We can spot manipulation easier than we could before, and we start to see what truly matters. You realize how up and down life is and your compassion grows (well, hopefully it does). Too bad we can’t get a re-do in life, as in a chance to do it over while still keeping the wisdom that we’ve obtained during the first try. The sad part is that most of the time we are always warned by our elders. They gave us gems from the beginning, but when you’re young you think they don’t know what they’re talking about (or you think that what they know is outdated). We might come from different generations, but most of time their advice was timeless. Ignorance is bliss, I must admit. Those teenage years and early twenties felt like time was never-ending and the world was at our fingertips but going through life thinking that it’s all going to go according to plan is a recipe for disappointment.

          When you’re a kid, everything seems possible. How many of us mapped out our lives in our head during high school? I can remember feeling so confident with the plan that I designed for myself. It all seemed so simple and realistic in my mind, but when you’re a teen you never factor in life events and unexpected changes. Things happen and they can steer our path in a different direction. One second, we’re on a highway in the fast lane, and the next second we’re taking the scenic route on a bumpy dirt road. Each decision can change the course of our lives. Looking back, it makes me miss the feeling of being young again. The closer I get to middle age, the more I wish time would stand still. I just can’t believe that I thought I was old when I was 25, and when I reached 27, I thought I was ancient. I was so mad that I wasn’t where I thought I should be. It’s so crazy when I think about it. How in the world did I think 27 was old? I wish I would’ve taken more risks in my twenties. I’m not saying that I can’t still take risks now, but I wish I did more when I had the energy to do so.

          If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to travel more and not to be afraid to do it solo. I was always afraid to do things like that on my own. If no one else wanted to do it, then I would just miss out. I know that I can still travel solo someday, but I don’t have the same energy to do things back-to-back. I used to be able to run on little sleep while traveling, now it’s like I need a day to recoup. Sometimes I’m even sore the next day. If I traveled now, I would have to factor in some rest days in order for it to feel like a vacation. 😂 I used to remember watching movies and shows where they would go out when they were in their thirties and realize that they could no longer keep up like they could before thirty. They were tired and they wanted to go home, so it’s interesting to experience that feeling now. It makes me want to be intentional about future life experiences. I don’t want to look back and feel like I wasted the time I’m in now.

          Life is tricky. Young me would’ve never imagined this type of shitshow. Things didn’t go as expected at all, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to give up. I would be lying if I said doing the small things takes so much effort when you’re feeling weighed down by life. As much as I want to throw in the towel, I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible to get out of this dark hole. I’m so far in, that I know if I can get out of this ANYONE can. I still hope to be the example that it’s possible. Even when life craps on you time and time again, maybe just maybe, you can somehow shock yourself and make it out of life’s quicksand. I still dream that I will someday look back and feel a sense of gratitude that I made it out of a time when nothing was going right. I hope and pray that I can have that moment someday. Until then, I’ll keep pushing and dreaming.