
         Five years ago, I uploaded a short post about going into a trial-and-error period. It was a time when I wanted to try a lot of things and figure out what works and what doesn’t. I wanted to know what works best for me and finally get a better idea of my path, so I can get a good routine going. Fast forward to 5 years later and I’m back to starting a new trial and error season. It’s time to step back, reevaluate and try another approach. My life has changed a lot during the last trial and error season, and it’s only fitting that it’s time for a rebrand and a relaunch.
         This past summer I pretty much zoned out after all the changes I endured, and with so many things suspending in mid-air I knew that I needed to push myself out of this current mental state. I needed to wrap my mind around the separation and settling in after the move. At one point, I didn’t see the purpose with trying. It was hard to accept this new reality, but my only options were to fold and wither or get up again and head back to the drawing board. So, after thinking about it, I finally got up again. I decided to tackle my health issues first. I bought a walking pad recently. I knew that I needed to add more movement into my sedentary lifestyle. I haven’t really worked out since the move. I just lost so much energy, but that’s usually what depression does to me. Fatigue is always my most telling symptom. I’m typically too tired for anything, but with my walking pad I can start off small. I walk when I’m learning, watching tv or listening to an audiobook. Time goes by so fast on that thing, and that’s a plus. I’m hoping the extra steps will not only improve my physical health, but my mental health as well. I also make sure that I get more antioxidants in my diet. There’s something about a berry-chia-flax smoothie that really gives you a burst of that feel-good energy.
         My next approach is to practice consistency. Being consistent has always been a challenge for me, but I’m in need of structure and routine. I tend to get discouraged easily when I don’t see much improvement and just take a break. But I needed to be real with myself and let myself know that a season of consistency is just not enough. Someone once said that they try to be consistent in something for 6-8 months and if it’s not working, they reevaluate and tweak some things and start again. It stuck with me because I realize how much I needed to push, even when it looks like it’s for nothing. How can you walk away in peace without knowing you did everything you could? I know I’m dealing with a lot of battles right now, so I’m not going to put a ton of pressure on myself. However, I will Try My Best to stay consistent for more than a season. The goal is always to get better and improve. I also realize that I tend to try my hand at multiple things at once and spread myself a little thin. This time I want to narrow in and focus on a few important goals. It’s all about tweaking things until I find the right formula. It’s not going to be easy, but when was it ever easy? No matter how impossible some things might look, you have to make a decision. You either go for it or let it go. I’m sorry, but the latter will never be an option for me.