Last year was one hell of a journey! There were so many lessons and life changing moments. I’ve learned more about myself and embraced the need for change. I pushed back my fears and started counseling and learned that I cannot fight depression and anxiety alone. I started my new medication back in November and it has actually helped with my daily anxiety. My anxiety was so severe, but it has mellowed me a great deal, and to the point where I don’t have to be so uncomfortable all the time. I still have to work on how to handle it during the moments where I’m in the thick of an uncomfortable situation, but it’s still an improvement. I also have to work on climbing out of this black hole of depression, but I’m hopeful and I’m trying.
I’ve experienced new adventures that have me hopeful for the future. A couple of months ago, it was so hard to look at the future with any form of excitement. How could I when this dark cloud was following me? My grief left my world gray and dreary, but something happened in the oddest place. I felt something outside of my usual feelings of sadness, anger, anxiousness/worry, and numbness. I felt alive, and for so long I’ve been disconnected from the feeling of excitement. I went on an adventure, and I feel like my world opened up to new possibilities. There are things that I now want and crave. Not physical things, but experiences and old dreams that never died. However, I’m taking an old approach. I’m going back to what I did in 2020. I’m dropping the pressure and redefining the journey. I’m letting go of how I think things should look like and running towards peace of mind. I’m following my heart, trusting my gut, and letting go of things that hinder my path to happiness.
Elle Rey📚 