
         Upon my chasing happiness journey, I figured that being my best self will contribute to my happiness. So, besides my anxiety and grief, whatâs been holding me back? Whatâs affecting me? When I get to the root, I know part of it is due to my weight gain over the last few years. About a month and a week ago Iâve been dieting and working out a few times a week. Iâve made a lot of progress, but I still have a long way to go before Iâm back to where I used to be (pre-pandemic, and pre-grief). Iâm slowly increasing the number of days I work out in a week. I try to push myself to do it as often as I can because I know that exercising releases endorphins and it really helps with depression. It gives you a happy feeling and adds a dose of positivity into your day. Itâs definitely one of the main things thatâs been helping me during this journey. Additionally, Iâve been putting extra time into self-care. Iâm getting back into skincare by using face masks a few times a week and I do my nails every week. I wanted to stop neglecting myself and get back into my old routine. As the old saying goes, if you look good, you feel good.
         Aside from dieting and exercising and indulging in self-care Iâve been focusing on the skills that Iâve always wanted to accomplish. Things that Iâve given up on or just slowed down with trying to achieve. I have a lot of sad thoughts throughout the day, so I try to feel them with distractions. I donât know if itâs because of being a student for many years, but I love learning. So, learning new skills has been a key distraction during dark times. I also do a lot of visualization and mentally putting myself in a happy place state. Iâve been doing that a lot this month, and even though it could be looked at in a negative way (like Iâm trying to escape reality), I donât care. It doesnât hurt anyone and itâs helping me get through these tough times, so thatâs all that matters.
         Moving forward, I want to keep doing what Iâm doing and add other things into the mix like learning how to belly dance, or maybe even taking another free class. Iâm not sure yet. The good thing about having a ton of interests and things that I wish to achieve, is that thereâs always something to chase after. Now I welcome distractions! And whatâs better than achieving things that youâve always wanted to achieve and learning things that youâve always wanted to learn. Improving myself is only going to add to my self-esteem so why not. Like I said before, I want to become my own version of extraordinary. The best part of it all is that thereâs no pressure. Unlike my past, Iâm not pressuring myself to learn this or that in a small amount of time. Iâm just slowly adding it to my routine and if I skip a day or two, I donât care. I learn when I feel like learning and do when I feel like doing. When you drop the expectations, it allows the fun to return and thatâs when the progress begins. It always seems like when you exhale and let go, you go further. When youâre anxious and always on edge you constantly make mistakes and get in your own way. Whereâs the fun in that? Who wants to be a stick in the mud? Make learning fun! If itâs not fun, then why bother stressing in your free time. Your free time should be a time of joy and peace. If youâre not relaxing then you should be having fun, and if youâre not having fun then you should be relaxing. đ
Stay Tuned for Chasing Peace Pt 2 next Sunday evening!